Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
Randomize
