Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Randomize
