Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
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