She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Randomize
