you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
Randomize
