can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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