She said her name was "party"
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Randomize
