Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
