How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
Randomize
