Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
But theres a keg here and me gusta
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
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