it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
sick fucks of a feather flock together
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
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