great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Randomize
