we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
Randomize
