At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Randomize
