Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
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