Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
