I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
