You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
