her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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