Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
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