Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Randomize
