But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
he wants to bone in the snuggie
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Randomize
