She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
3pm strippers are depressing
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
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