you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
Randomize
