What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
This is my gift to your gina
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
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