I want to make a zoo with you.
Its about making memories worth repressing
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
My dick has a subreddit
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
My dad is sitting where you rode me
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