just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
