Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
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