they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
