Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Randomize
