I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
