Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
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