What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Randomize
