i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
Randomize
