Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
Randomize
