You work out of a Hotel?
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
