everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
