it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
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