I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
