the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
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