Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
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