was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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