your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
