Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
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