so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
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