i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
