I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
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