what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
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