Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
Randomize
