.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
They have beer where we have blood.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
Randomize
