These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
should my penis look like a turkey
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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