hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Randomize
