another moral hangover. fuck.
I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Randomize
