No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
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