apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
I FOUND THE LEGS
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
