So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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