i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
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