Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
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