Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
