I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
