he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Randomize
