Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
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