lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Randomize
