I didn't shave. On purpose
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
Randomize
